#i want my energy and motivation back

[platykool]

im back

[aroanthy]

i love how fraught and complicated discourse around various utena characters ‘dying’ is when anthy is literally stabbed to death eternally by a million swords imbued with human hatred. and then utena gets stabbed to death by them also. like. ‘death’ is incredibly interesting in rgu because most of the time it’s this ambiguous figurative thing that has interesting implications re: ohtori as a closed-off world one can escape. we are all trapped in our coffins. mamiya is the only named character with a grave. nemuro memorial hall functions as one all the same. ruka is implied to have died in the hospital— was he dead all along? who was the boy we saw for these two episodes? is this dead boy the same boy, or is this just another coincidence from the shadow girls, cutting like a knife? it’s heavily implied that akio and anthy murder kanae by poisoning her, adding to the previous implication that they were poisoning mr ohtori too, but there are no perceptible consequences of this. kanae’s absence is not felt. she’s fed an apple slice. what happens to the bodies? we know what happened to the 100 boys, but what about everyone else? and so on and so forth. ‘death’ is a tricky thing in utena, i think it’s constantly functioning on figurative and literal levels in very different ways for very different purposes. dios died. dios was dying. dios didn’t die. he grew up. etc etc

[taegularities]

🤍🫂🌹

[puppyeared]

isnt it great when u take your adhd meds and instead of using that brainpower for stuff like ASSIGNMENTS. AND PROJECTS. your brain decides the next 6 hours will be brainstorming ponysona names and making oc playlists

[bones-n-bookles]

Cave Bean for @losech 💜

[triglycercule]

triglycercule..

STOP I HAVENT FINISHED MY THANK YOU ART FOR THE FIRST BUNDLE OF JK AU DRAWINGS YOU SENT ME AND NOW YOURE GIVING ME THE FULL VERSION OF THE FOURTH ON E??? 🙁🙁‼️⁉️⁉️⁉️🙏🙏😭😭😭😭 THEH LOOK SO CUTE AND ADORABLE ANS PERFECT YOU DRAW THEM SO WELL I LOVE THE GRAYSCALE LOOK AND SEEINF THEM WITH LEGS THIS TIME IS SOOO CUTE I LOVE SEEING LEGWARMERS I M GENUINELY TEEKING GEEKING DYING IM SO THANKFUL FOR THIS‼️‼️‼️!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE A LEDGEND YIUR A GOD YOUR EVERYTHING THST THE WORLD NEEDED IM SO HAOPY SOMEONE DREW THE JK MTT I DIDN'T EVEN PUT THST MUCH EFFORT INTO IT.,,,,,.... theyre so happy they make ME so happy AND ASIDE FROM THST YOURE ACTUALLY SO GOOD AT ART THOUGH THIS IS JUST A sketch PROBABLY. clothing folds 🤤🤤🤤🤤 expressions 🤤🤤🤤🤤 hahhnds 🤤🤤🤤🤤 why do i feel like i shouldve see this artstyle from someone before. who are you gshaewru. what type of name is thatHUH??? NTBE TYPE OF NAMR AN AMAZING PERSON WOULD HAVE FOR THEIR UMBLR ACCOUNT YOURE SO AMAZING PLEASE DON'T DIE. ok but again thank you so much for the jk!mtt art i've never been more overjoyed in my life this is like a blessing from the gods themselves for me. NOBODY KNOWS HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME

[carrionsflower]

[whoblewboobear]

Staring down that weird feeling of feeling like too much or out of place or annoying if I say too much or say things too loud or too off-putting to be like- WANTED in any given social situation. To try so hard to socialize just to- idk. I’d very much like to stop defaulting to that scared kid that was pushed away or talked over until I got old enough and desperate enough to say any and every rapid fire thought that comes to mind. Like filling space when there’s dead air then wondering if maybe I did the Too Much™️ thing again and A. Scared everyone away or B. Pushed everyone away so it would hurt less when they leave BC of A.

Of feeling like I need to be useful or smart or talented or pretty or SOMETHING worthwhile so people want me around. I can just be but then it’s like just being has never been enough for anyone to like- stay. Or care. Running is always a mistake bc it’s like riiiight.. no one noticed you ran, babe. You’re not even at the top of their list people to want around. And just feel so low about it that I talk myself into feeling miserable again.

I’m happy, ive been so much happier lately and i dont take it for granted bc it’s so rare that things go okay or that there’s a sense of peace for a moment. I’m creating again and im less hard on myself about it. I have hobbies again, I’m making friends. And still I’m like seeing the other foot start to drop in real time bc it’s like. You’re in, but are you? That constant nagging voice that sounds so much like my own going “lonely again? Good you deserve it”

[unluckystreak]

hey guys what does it mean when you never have energy for anything like ever. like you literally cannot bring yourself to do anything all day. i cant even do the things i like. im just tired all the time. im exhausted. i feel like im on 1% battery 99% of the time. why has it always been like this for me. why haven't i grown out of it. why can't i just do things.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[voltronisanobsession]

I know I’ve said it a thousand times but imma try and go through my inbox because i have over 40 things sitting in there💀

Like they probably forgot about their asks but I’m gonna power through and post them when I’m done writing all of them🙏

I need to finish them before I start school in the fall but I think I could do it😍😍

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

[radmista]

My cat just ran outside while I was taking my dog out to the bathroom, refuses to come back while calling her and shaking food at her. Actively runs in the opposite direction. And ofc someone broke the laser pointer I keep on my keys so I can't trick her back into the apartment. I'm so pissed that shit broke off, all my other crappy keychains are still attached. The laser was how I got her back last time she escaped but she'd only taken a few steps out and I was able to snatch her.

And I'm not supposed to have her so I can't even notify the apartment complex a cat is missing 😐 guess she's an outdoor cat now :/

[idlelust-burningthoughts]

✨️❤️‍🔥🫦❤️‍🔥✨️

[slugsketches]

they should invent a depression that doesn't make laying in bed more appealing than other things even when you actually have the energy to do those other things

[scourgefrontiers]

yeah that post made me think. commissions as my only source of income is rough. its fun, yeah! but the inconsistent and frankly Low income of it all gets..very stressful and tiring

i only know of two conventions around here and they dont happen for a while and theres no guarantee i can get into the artist alley, let alone afford more stock to sell at said cons. other than that i dont know of really Anything art related around locally like craft fairs or galleries. so im not sure if i can really break into that scene around here ??

if theres a way for me to make money with my art that doesnt involve killing myself with commissions or trying to break into an industry that doesnt want me then i am Open To Suggestions